Lost To Me

This poignant and beautiful poem was written by one of my closest friends, Ana Maria Wilson. She bravely and eloquently describes her own experience with grief and loss and the forms it can take.
This poem is in memory of a wonderful man and Father, Richard Charles Maskell.

I think I see you over there,
Sat right there! In my neighbours
Chair!
Rubbing on your weathered neck &
Tightly knotted brow.
I know that look, I’ve smoothed
Those lines, I’ve held those hands a
Thousand times.

You’re lost to me, I know it’s true,
But how can it be so?
When I see you almost everywhere,
In places I don’t know.

Standing at the platform, three
Tracks across from me.
I recognise that briefcase, that
Stance and bend of knee.
I stare at you intensely, how can it
Really be?
You my precious Father, the one
Now lost to me?

I scoured the very corners, dusting
Piece by piece,
Searching for that voice I’ve known,
I’ve strained to hear your feet.

You’re lost to me, I know it’s true,
But how can it be so?
When I see you almost everywhere,
In faces I don’t know.

I’ll treasure it, your gift for now,
As who knows it may stop!
Welcoming confusion and mini
Waves of shock.
Your missed beyond the words I
Write,
And found in fluttered thoughts at
Night.
Whichever form you may appear,
I’ll listen so I know your near!

You’re lost to me, I know it’s true,
But how can it be so?
When I see you almost everywhere,
And you’ll stay with me I know!

–  Ana-Maria Wilson

 

One thought on “Lost To Me

  1. This is so, so very beautiful. Especially the line ‘I’ll treasure it, your gift for now,
    As who knows it may stop!’ appeals to me a lot. My Dad passed away almost 3 years ago and those moments where I suddenly see him in the streets become rarer. I wish you all the best, Ana-Maria.
    PS. It still is hard for me to say these words, ‘my dad died’ or ‘passed away’. There is an expression in Italian, è venuto a mancare, which I prefer because it reflects the way I feel about it so deeply. Your name sounds Spanish, so you may understand Italian a little bit.

    Like

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